Chapter 6

 

As you resist service

to your brother

so, too, do you resist

your own salvation.

 

April 24, 1988

 

Nearly two months have passed since my session with Jeremiah. Two of, perhaps, the busiest months of my life. A business opportunity presented itself, and I quickly dove in head first.

 

For the past several years, I have been earning a living primarily in the health field, learning everything there is to know from serving as a doctor’s assistant to a clinic manager. Now I have joined with a software firm to create a management system for the health care industry, complete with training manuals and procedures, that will be marketed throughout the country.

 

My partner and I have been working feverishly to complete the prototype. A few weeks ago we made our “pitch” to the president of the software company, in a limousine cruising around Seattle. The president was very impressed – so impressed that he hired me as a consultant trainer, and agreed to our terms for the future rights to the product. In short, I am going to be paid to devote the majority of my time to completing a product that will give me royalties for each unit sold, and the software company will make the product a mandatory part of their package!

 

Now, the whirlwind of the last few months is beginning to settle down. Or perhaps I should say “settle in.” We have moved into our new offices, sat through countless planning sessions for marketing, driven all over the Puget Sound area meeting clients, and, while the pace is still fast, at least it is feeling more and more routine.

 

We’re getting there. I see a year, perhaps less, and everything will be in place. And then… freedom!

 

There have been several occasions when I have felt Jeshua’s presence. Just yesterday, while I was in the midst of reformatting some material, I sensed him. Under my breath, I muttered that I really did not have the time and so please not to distract me. Imagine! And some parents are concerned about the invisible playmates of their children!

 

I am looking forward to tonight. I feel safe in not bringing my work home with me; I am well ahead of schedule. Time to kick back and savor it all.

 

*****

 

As I rock gently back and forth, feet on the windowsill before me, eyes drinking in the soft light of a remarkably clear evening, that familiar feeling begins. I am actually looking forward to the connection, whatever comes from it.

 

Now, we begin.

 

            Silence.

            Again I say unto you: silence.

            Just beneath the roar and din of your world,

            is found a quiet voice calling to the one

            who has journeyed over immeasurable distances

            and through time without beginning.

 

            So gentle is the voice that surely we are mistaken.

            Unlike the cry of the world,

            its sound is unfamiliar;

            and goes so often unknown.

            Therefore,

            silence for the seeker of the Truth

            once known, then lost.

            Silence is the door at which I stand and knock,

            knowing that if the seeker is still,

            my knock will be heard

            and I shall enter therein.

 

            Can you allow of silence?

            Are you willing to quiet the longings

            born not of the Father

            but of the roar of the world?

            Seek first the Kingdom of Heaven,

            and enter therein through silence.

            Oh, you who believes even beyond your own belief

            that you are lost from the Father,

            and separated from His divine Love,

            can you not see that it is but your own voice

            which calls unto you?

 

            I bid you come to silence,

            that the voice may finally be heard.

            Here marks the gentle turning point

            in your long journey.

            Herein is the way home rediscovered.

 

            I stand here at just this end of the pathway,

            while you wait there,

            at the edge of the world you have imagined

            into being.

 

            Turn, gently, then,

            your ear from the din

            you have for so long been immersed within.

            Turn gently and hear My voice calling:

            the Way is before you now,    

            and the table is prepared.

            Our Father awaits us.

            Come unto silence,

            let the journey end.

 

            It is but a short step when

            once you turn to Me and hear Me.

 

            Come, I bid you, come!

 

            Amen.

 

*****

 

May 6, 1988

 

            Now, we begin.

 

            So long has it been since

            last we walked together upon the earth.

            For I speak unto you this Truth:

            the Son is but One.

            Never is there a time,

            nor ever a place,

            that illusion reigns,

            save in that of your own delusion.

            For always and ever the Truth is,

            and the Truth is this:

            the Son is One,

            united eternally with the Father,

            who is the essence of the only begotten Son,

            the form of the Father’s presence.

 

            Do you know how far you have wandered

            in your journey through countless illusions?

            Have you but a faint idea

            of the worlds you have created?

            The dream ends where the Kingdom begins.

            Therefore,

            “Ye cannot serve God and mammon.”

 

            For either you will serve the One and deny the other,

            or you will serve the other

            and not the One.

 

            Think not that you who can only demand

            your belief in separation,

            can reside within the Kingdom

            in the same moment.

            Such is a deception, though subtle,

            that seduces the seeker of true Spirit.

            Long have I waited for this age

            to be upon the surface of your beloved earth.

            Now the time is upon us.

            No more will the Son suffer the torment

            of his illusions.

            Look: you cannot see from whence appears

            the Light of the Holy Father.

            Look yet again, and behold no end.

            Thus it is,

            and thus shall it again be upon the earth.

 

            Surrender unto Me,

            for indeed,

            I am the Way, the Truth and the Life,

            and such as this,

            you are.

            Let the Dream end,

            that the Kingdom may be known.

 

            Amen.

 

*****

May, 25 1988

 

Now, we begin.

 

            Hello Marc,

 

“Hello Jeshua. How are you?”

 

            I am fine, Marc. Though I see you are not.

 

“It shows, huh?”

 

            My beloved friend,

            never is truth hidden,

            at any time, nor from anyone.

            Though, of course,

            many prefer not to see.

 

“That makes me want to ask: why am I tired from your perspective?”

 

Fatigue had nothing to do with the body.

            It has everything to do with the mind.

            It is merely through the body

            that disharmony is expressed,

            and this only because you are refusing to

            recognize its true source.

            To say “I am tired” is little more

            than an escape from truth to illusion.

 

“Well, why am I tired?”

 

            You know the answer to this without asking.

 

“Because I am not following my heart.”

 

It is so.

 

“I seem to hold the belief that reality is ‘out there.’ That if I simply and wholly gave up resisting my heart, calamity would ensue, and the world will condemn me.”

 

            To insist on being part of the world

            is to accept condemnation already.

 

“So what do I do? Just blink my eyes, and walk away from responsibilities?”

 

            Of course not.

            Yet by trusting the voice of the Holy Spirit,

            and by moving into the direction

            toward which it would point,

            you will allow an effortless transition to occur.

            You need not think that you must ensure

            the welfare of others,

            for when the Spirit is trusted wholly,

            no such transition occurs

            which does not also nurture

            all of what you currently participate in.

            Again,

            trust is the issue.

 

“But how do I know what is really the voice of Spirit, and not just more subtle ego stuff?”

 

When you release all thought of what

your good is,

when you release all thought

that God is not to be trusted –

           

for what is resistance to Spirit but this belief?

And especially when you desire only to be empty,

then will you hear

the voice of the Holy One.

 

Marc,

I have come because you have called.

So it shall be for all the sons of God

held in the bondage of their own delusion,

yet who sense that salvation is possible.

No cry for deliverance is unheard by Me.

 

Now,

is it not but a small matter to recognize

your chosen purpose?

The result of such a choice you cannot see.

Nor is it your need to do so.

For when the soul chooses to serve God,

it serves mystery beyond reproach.

It is that which can be trusted completely.

For since the Son

first held the thought of Separation

has the Father sought to restore His place.

He also knows the fruit of all service

given by the soul who sees beyond shadows.

I will share this with you

before ending this communication:

never shall I ask that you surrender

your own free will.

Yet,

you have asked to participate in the

awakening of the Son,

and so we have come to you.

Will you tarry yet awhile longer?

 

As you resist service to your brother

so, too, do you resist your own salvation.

These are one and the same.

I encourage you to follow your heart,

and place your trust not in the belief of the world,

but solely on the light of our Father

which is within you.

Herein lies what you long for.

Herein lies your final peace.

Here, I AM,

and I desire that all the sons of God

reside where I AM.

 

Indeed,

peace is but Love which longs

to share of itself,

and that is the Light

which is come into the world.

It is time for the world to comprehend it.

What work could be grander than this?

 

What task of greater importance?

What, beloved brother,

can the world offer that can be remotely

as valuable to you?

 

“Seek first the Kingdom.”

Marc, you have sought

and you have found.

 

Now is the time for sharing,

            that the world may comprehend Light,

            and release darkness.

 

            Fear not,

            for I am with you always.

            This you know well.

            Live what you know.

 

            Amen.

 

*****

 

That does it. Often during this experience with Jeshua, I have had the idea of scheduling a session with Jonah, who is the only person – perhaps I should say “entity” – whose authority I would trust. His guidance over the past three years has been uncannily accurate, and the profundity of his teaching unsurpassed. Whoever or whatever Jonah is, I have come to trust him completely. This does not mean I always follow his advice; in fact, quite the contrary. It seems that more often than not,  he suggest the high road, I take the low road. Following the low road has eventually led me blundering into the humbling recognition that, in ways I do not yet understand, Jonah seems to see things from a much more inclusive vantage point than I.

 

Now there is no hesitation. I grab my writing pad, write out a list of questions, stuff it into an envelope, and hurriedly address it to Hossca Harrison, who serves as a channel for Jonah. I rush out into the blustery spring afternoon and run up to the corner mailbox. Just before dropping the letter into the mail slot, I silently ask Jonah to be perfectly frank with me in his answers.

 

Back in my apartment, I re-read the communication I just received. I thought I was past that fear of sharing this information. But it strikes me as so radical – it demands change at fundamental levels, and in ways I do not yet understand. How then, can I share it?

 

*****

 

June 6, 1988

 

            Now, we begin.

 

            As you rest,

            look out upon the beauty of your earth.

            There is no lack of harmony there.

            It is this sense of union

            which attracts so many to nature.

            Yet the question arises:

            “Why do I not move in accord to this harmony?”

            The “I” to which I refer is mankind.

 

            Marc,

            I am in all things,

            except in the perception of the world

            so strongly adhered to by the mind of mankind.

            In these things,

            you will find Me not.

 

            “Split wood, I am there.

            Lift up a rock, there you shall find me also.”

            It does not occur to the mind of one

            so enchanted with illusion to consider

            why I did not mention the marketplace,

            or government!

 

            The earth,

            and all that abides in it,

            knows no thoughts of Separation

            from the Holy Father.

            It is for this reason that all who desire to awaken

            are attracted to nature.

            It is why even I journeyed to the desert.

 

            For when the noise of the world subsides,

            the Kingdom may begin to be revealed.

            That which facilitates silence

            serves the awakening of the Son.

 

            I wish to address your concerns over

            The Jeshua Letters.

            Seeing your doubt,

            I offer this as prophesy.

            Within two weeks,

            you will receive your tape

            from your beloved teacher, Jonah.

            Here you will find

            the confirmation you seek.

 

            My question to you is this:

            will you then create yet another defense

            against the very purpose you have chosen?

 

            Dwell upon this.

 

            Amen.

 

Later, as I wash the dishes and stack them to dry, it suddenly occurs to me that Jeshua has given me something quite concrete! A prediction. One that has a clear message. If I do not hear from Jonah in two weeks, I will have fuel to discredit all of this! And now one question occurs: What if I do receive the tape?

 

*****

June 18, 1988

 

Turning off Tacoma Avenue, I drive down the hill, feasting my gaze on the harbor below. As always, a feeling of simple joy begins to settle in. I love living here, near the water, yet above it, above the neighbor’s rooftops, where I can see for miles, unobstructed by glass and concrete.

 

Pulling up to the old house whose top floor has become my home, I bound up the few steps to the front porch and flip open the lid of my mailbox. Immediately, I stop breathing, if just for a moment. There is a small package, a brown shipping envelope, just the right size for a cassette tape. A glance confirms it is from Hossca Harrison.

 

Walking much more slowly now, I go around the corner of the house, up the steps of the landing, and open the door that I forgot to lock when I left this morning. Once inside, my briefcase is gently tossed unto the sofa, the brown envelope on the dining room table, and I in my rocker. Within seconds my mind is full of avoidance thoughts: “I really need to get the laundry done, and it has been a long time since I vacuumed. Did I take the garbage out this morning?”

 

“Enough, already!” I shout out loud, and then more quietly, “Let’s just get this over with.”

 

I slip the cassette into the tape player and settle into my rocker. The harbor is so still tonight. There is only one tanker, waiting patiently to be pulled into the docks by those familiar green-and-white tugboats. The lights are beginning to shimmer across glassy waters, ribbons of dancing radiance disappearing into the hillside that lies just a block from me.

 

A clicking sound announces that the tape is ready, and I turn my attention to it, but leave my eyes on the soothing waters below.

 

“We have questions for Marc Hammer,” says the recorded voice of Rebecca Harrison.

 

“So state it,” booms the voice of Jonah. It is a voice so unique, so powerful, that it cannot be forgotten.

 

“Last year, I met with two friends at a café in Ballard…”

 

“Oh, quite by accident, say ye?” interrupts Jonah.

 

It is my experience that he already knows the real intent of my questions before they are asked, as if replying to a deep level of genuine inquiry often inaccessible to my conscious mind.

 

He continues: “Is not all, my friend, that transpires, in accordance to one’s beingness, by a grand design? Not a design by a force, or source, outside of oneself, but by a drawing of souls together to share with each other, to teach and to learn from each other, to bring back ancient memories that one forgets, because they are so shielded with the programmed consciousness.”

 

“Indeed, as ye well know, and we have spoken to ye many times, your purpose – is it not? – is to bring forth an understanding of one’s own inner enlightenment, one’s own inner power, of assisting others through trauma. Indeed, of healing your own trauma…”

 

All of that from one seemingly innocuous question about a meeting with a few friends. He is already there, touching that space deep within me. I can feel it. It is not so much the words, but a feeling that is evoked. My ego, my protective mask, cannot shield me from this feeling.

 

And now, tears are flowing freely, as if my whole body is opening up. The tears work their way – from cells in my legs, my arms, my chest, everywhere – up to, and out of, my eyes. I am a tingling, bawling mass of flesh. But it feels so good. The tears continue unabated throughout the remainder of the session, as I ask Jonah questions about my resistance, about my fear that it is all just an ego trip, about Jeshua…

 

“When one is preparing to change realities, to go from what would be termed as an old reality to that of a new reality, in the midst of that change the negative ego, the old, fearful programming, comes to the surface. Even that which would be termed as the hidden unconscious programming begins to surface.

 

“Ye have asked us in this energy to be blunt and frank with ye? Indeed we will be.”

 

He heard me! When I mailed the questions, I had silently asked Jonah not to hold any punches, to be frank with me. And is he ever!

 

“What are ye afraid of? What, indeed, in this life, is there to be afraid of? Death? What is death, but simply walking through one door to walk unto another door called ‘birth.’ It is the death of the old consciousness, the death of the old reality, to allow the birth of a new reality, a new dimension of life.

 

“Chance. What is this word ‘chance’? An accident? Is the universe an accident? Is the earth an accident? Is the birth of a child an accident? Is the flight of a bird, the sound of a dolphin, the singing of a whale, or the birth of a star an accident? Is it all by chance? Or is it – indeed – a grand design of the Oneness of that termed ‘God’? Never is there such called ‘chance’. Ye were drawn to us because of your ancient memories of us. To break through the ego, that the heart might be found.

 

“Is it all by imagination? Indeed, my friend, one cannot imagine that which they has not experienced. Indeed, to ponder that statement. We well understand ye want a direct answer: ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ is this occurring? But it is to be perceived in this manner. Jeshua exists within everyone. To understand it in this manner, my friend, a part of ye is Jeshua. There is a part of that within each one. Jeshua is an energy meaning ‘Truth Giver.’ Honor that which ye hear. Honor that which ye speak. What is of importance is to understand the symbology of this energy, meaning ‘Truth Giver.’”

 

Suddenly and dramatically, everything which makes up the reality of this moment disappears. Simultaneously, I am electrified, every cell of my body alive as if charged by some unseen source of sublime energy, the energy of recognition.

 

There stands before me an image I now know well. It is the image of Jeshua, radiant in golden light, and about him – to the sides, below, and above – are other beings, equally as radiant. I somehow know they represent all beings who have ever lived, or ever will live. Their smiles and radiance express a joy that transcends all description. The person Jeshua, indeed, the whole of that lifetime does express the reality of Christ, who is all of us! My God, does his life make visible the truth of our very beings, mirroring back to our conscious minds what was so long ago forgotten? Was he, is he, the soul of each of us, whispering to our heart the only obvious truth?

 

Truth Giver. The tears have stopped. In fact, it feels as if everything has stopped, especially my mind. No grasping for bits and pieces to argue against. No resistance to what I feel, or what I experience. The words reverberate continually in my mind, resonating like an echo without end: “Truth Giver, Truth Giver, Truth Giver…”

 

*****

July 19, 1988

 

Now, we begin.

 

            Beloved brethren,

            you who linger on the edge of Light

            believing yet that darkness is your home,

            allow Me to speak to you in this treasured moment,

            which, by the way,

            is not in time.

 

            Time is the measure of illusion.

            What is Real is always beyond time.

 

            Again I would share with you,

            that if you would penetrate

            the veil of your experience

            and find within it

            that which can set you free,

            you must go always to your feelings.

            For the thoughts you hold are either

            the products of other minds

            held in the bondage of darkness,

            or are born of your own insistence

            on the truth of circumstance.

 

            Never are you apart from the Kingdom,

            save by your clearly free choice.

            Contemplate this one truth deeply.

            When you come to trust

            the Father’s will for you,

            all doubt about your experience

            will be forever banished.

            Do not doubt this!

 

            Yet I would share with you

            that there are no roadmaps;

            you are your path home.

 

            It is thus that guidance is an art

            requiring the greatest tenacity,

            since you are constantly creating our experience.

            My guidance is given

            simply because you have asked for it.

            Now, ponder this:

            My life among you was nothing more

            than your very own.

            My experience of that time is wholly yours,

            for the Son is indeed One.

 

            See, then,

            that Jeshua is not –

            and was not –

            apart from you,

            but is a part of you.

            It cannot be otherwise.

 

            I give you no specific instruction

            relative to the experience

            you create, nor shall I.

            It is not My purpose.

            My purpose is to guide you on this,

            the last part of your journey.

            When you have come to where I AM,

            it will be completed,

            and a new one will emerge.

            I will lead you beyond all shadows

            once,

            and for always –

            the shadows you know well.

 

            This day,

            remember that you are

            the only begotten Son,

            and that nothing matters save

            the remembrance of Me.

            Beyond all appearances,

            this alone is the only experience

            truly occurring for you,

            as well as everyone.

 

            This is preposterous

            to the mind in bondage,

            for remember always:

            what appears as darkness is light

            to the world,

            yet that which is Light

            is believed to be darkness.

            There is no salvation in the perception of your world.

            Therefore,

            simply release them.

            Soon, you will abide in Me wholly.

            Herein lies the purpose of your

            being in the world,

            herein shall you know the intention of your soul.

 

            Peace I give unto you,

            My beloved brethren.

 

            Amen.

*****

July 21. 1988

 

            Now, we begin.

 

            Again, I come forth to you

            for, again,

            you have asked.

 

            I AM That which resides

            in the Heart of All.

            I AM That which springs forth from the Father

            and is before all worlds.

            I AM That which has walked among you:

            and the world knew Me not.

            Beloved brethren,

            peace I give unto you.

 

            Not as the world can imagine,

            give I forth unto you.

            I call,

            yet few hear.

            Fewer still respond.

 

            In all things,

            rest first in Me,

            and know your Father’s will.

            In all things,

            heed not the teaching of the world,

            for what is born of ignorance

            can lead only to ignorance.

            But that which proceeds from Light

            leads surely to Light,

            for that Light,

            it is.

 

            Release all fear,

            embrace all that you are,

            and express in this the Light you are.

            Not one hair of your head can be touched

            when first you abide in Me.

            Why fear a moment’s fantasy?

            For of such is the world made.

            It means nothing.

 

            Love alone is the substance

            of all that is Real.

 

            Go now,

            in peace,

            for I am with you always.

 

            Amen.

 

“I come forth to you for again you have asked.” Re-reading the communication, my attention rests on that line. I don’t remember making any appointments with Jeshua! This isn’t the only time he has spoken like that. Why? And why does it seem to matter to me? How could I ask, and not know I have done so?

 

I feel like Sherlock Holmes, trying to unlock the secrets of a mysterious occurrence. Sherlock picks up a paperweight and senses its importance, even though it remains beyond his understanding.

 

Like Sherlock, I put my own paperweight back down for now.

 

*****

 

 

 

 

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